Big Machine busca cantante

[bigmachine]

BIG MACHINE, hard rock sinfónico progresivo busca cantante masculino, de registro amplio, con influencias varias: desde Peter Gabriel hasta Ronnie J. Dio, con experiencia o con ganas de trabajar para la banda.
Si querés formar parte de la "Gran Máquina" escribí a: big_machine@hotmail.es, ser_eduar@hotmail.com o janoangus@hotmail.com.
Para saber de nosotros: www.myspace.com/bigmachinelp

[salenfl21]

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees.Philadelphia Flyers
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[salenfl21]

Kneasels
A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. Dior handbag classic style Deep Brown
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When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, "Ewww - what's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird. Why are your feet so gross?"

"I had tolio as a child," he answered.

"You mean polio?" she asked.

"No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes."

[salenfl21]

A man named Vinny dies and goes to hell.

The Devil says to him "Hey Vinny we've been waitin for ya!".

Vinny smiles and walkscheap CA Women Hoody
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with the Devil and the Devil says "I gotta ask you a couple questions, do you like to smoke?" Vinny answers "Ya, I love to smoke." The Devil says "Good you'll like Mondays we smoke everything cigarettes, cigars, weed everything."

[salenfl21]

I'll use my seeing eye dog
Panda A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.

The store manager, who has seen all this,Best Vibram FiveFingers Men's KSO-08
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The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."

[salenfl21]

Ear today...

A man walks into a pub, goes up to the bar "Pint of your best" he says to the bar man.

Whilst waiting for his drink he notices that Vincent Van Gogh is sitting at one of the tables. He goes up to him and says "Are you Vincent Van Gogh?"
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"Yes" the old man replies.

"Do you want a pint?"

"No, ta. I've got one `ere."

[salenfl21]

The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it.
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The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle!"

[salenfl21]

HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE A GRINCH

* You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own name. (5 points)
* You steal light bulbs from you neighbor's outdoor display to replenish your own supply. (5 points, 10 if neighbor's whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out)
* You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer. (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points)
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* You put out last year's stale candy canes for children. (1 point for each piece of sticky candy).
* If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points.
* You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Wal-Mart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends. (5 points for each infraction).
* You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day. (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.
* At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home. (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party)
* You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own [Southern California only, others ignore]. (5 points -- nobody but Angelinos are dumb enough to dress a car)
* After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made. (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).
* Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no. (20 points)

[salenfl21]

A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him.
But 5 minutes later Air Jordan 22 (XXII)
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How can this be?

[IGTTO213]

Boy:I'd like to call you.Your number?
Girl:It's in the phone book.

Boy:Is this seat empty?
Girl:Yes,and this one will be if you sit down.

Boy:Haven't I seen you some place before?
Girl:Yes.That's why I don't go there anymore.


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[font=Verdana]No money no way in real life,no gold no way in game![/font]